May 2007

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The Low Spark of High Heeled Boys

May 23, 2007 in Tom Cruise by I Hate Tom Cruise | 220 comments

tom cruise heels

See, Tom Cruise is 5’7”…when he’s wearing three-inch heels.

[Photo via TC Forever]

I Hate Tom Cruise Hate Mail

May 17, 2007 in Tom Cruise by I Hate Tom Cruise | 26 comments

I Hate Tom Cruise Hate Mail

We hate Tom Cruise, which inevitably makes people (read: the Dutch and Scientologists) hate us. Let’s dig into the I Hate Tom Cruise hate mailbag, shall we?

From: Bob the Builder
Date: May 4, 2007
Subject: –

Why not put your energies [sic] into something positive instead of slaggin [sic] of [sic] someone else?

Clearly you don’t understand that hating Tom Cruise IS positive.

From: Mark
Date: May 11, 2007
Subject: hi

I would just like to point out that you must have a very large amount of free time to be sad enough to create a web site that solely abuses tom cruise and his family.

A few pointers :- [sic]

you havnt [sic] got tom cruises [sic] millions for starters.

you are probably a lonely person or people

when tom cruise dies he will be remembered, who will remember you?

you [sic] just a sad low-life that needs to grow up!

Mark, we would just like to point out that your random punctuation and atrocious spelling aren’t helping you get ahead in life. Also, thanks for your concern about our loneliness and legacy, but we’re doing just fine. Remember, Xenu loves you!

From: tom
Date: May 16, 2007
Subject: looser

what a looser [sic] you really are, you are either very jelous [sic] or have a couple of screws loose. Its [sic] tom cruise’s personal business what he does and when he does it. Grow up and make a website about something decent you prick

This coming from a person who can’t even spell “loser.” Tom, Tom, Tom…you poor, misguided, functionally illiterate soul. Thanks for the chuckle.