January 2007

So clearly The Sun isn’t the bastion of good reporting, but this was just too good not to post. The paper reports that Tom Cruise has been labeled the “Christ” of Scientology by its leaders and has been told he has been “chosen” to spread the word of his faith throughout the world. Leader David Miscavige believes that in the future Tom will be worshipped like Jesus for his work to raise awareness about Scientology. A source close to Tom says:

“Tom has been told he is Scientology’s Christ-like figure. Like Christ, he’s been criticised for his views. But future generations will realise he was right.”

Future generations will realize that Tom was right about what? That 75 million years ago an alien dictator brought billions of aliens to Earth, stacked them around volcanoes and blew them up with hydrogen bombs, causing their souls to cluster together and stick to the bodies of the living, and that these alien souls continue to wreak havoc and create chaos to this very day? Riiiiight.

[via The Sun Online]

It’s a little late, but what the hell—welcome to 2007, bitches! May you have a wonderful year of hating on Tom Cruise. Now, let’s get on to the business at hand…

“The street fighter in me wants to lash out. But the host in me said this is extraordinary television and don’t let it end. I knew this would be great TV. Cruise had no intention of listening to me…. I was watching this guy come into my living room and not keeping it a professional discussion. He was pointing at me.”

- Matt Lauer on his memorable 2006 interview with Cruisazy

[via Us Weekly]